Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Chained, Yet Hopeful

As my finger punched the “hang up” button of my cell phone after talking to my aunt in Baghdad, I couldn’t but think of a wonderful post written by A&EIraqi about Iraqi women and a sentence Omar said once when he visited me here in Philly in the winter. “Iraqi women are the ones who ran Iraq in the 1980s when men were fighting in the battlefield,” Omar said when he and I were talking about how women in Iraq now are being prosecuted by the new fanaticism of the government, parliament, militias, and insurgents.

My aunt called me yesterday afternoon as I was having lunch before heading to my classes. When I saw her name displayed on the cell phone screen, I was so happy to the extent that I threw away the chicken sandwich I was biting. She is my mother’s closest sister who used to visit us frequently before the war. Like most Baghdadi women, she used to have relatively a normal life. As Russia-educated journalist, she’s been working in the media field for a long time writing about the Iraqi youth, every day life, food, and of course, women.

Under the dark era of Saddam and the darkest era followed, she never stopped reporting. She went to her work during the three successive wars. She never left without a notebook and a pen. In fact, her bag had different kinds of notebooks and pens in which I used to tease her sometimes by asking her if she robbed a stationary. Her image with the notebook interviewing people in my neighborhood during the 1991 US-led war is still vivid in my mind reminding me of how strong and full of will she was. She would drive every two or three days to her newspaper headquarters which was close to my neighborhood and hand out her reporting to her editors who had already compiled a bunch of different other stories form other reporters in other areas in Baghdad.

As a secular Muslim, she never believed in wearing the scarf, not because she is against it or because she criticizes it, but because she is not convinced of wearing it. She believes women should not be forced to wear it. She had friends from different sects and religions, most of them were teachers, artists, painters, and even singers. They used to hang out every week talking about their life and their jobs and hobbies as they enjoy sipping the dark, strong Arabic coffee which she is an expert of making.

Today, my aunt is one of the millions of victims of fanaticism that came to the “new Iraq”. As a “Shiite” living in a “Sunni neighborhood”, insurgents threatened to kill her not only because she is Shiite but because she is a journalist. And that was not it. They threatened her because she doesn’t wear the scarf and because she drives a car and uses a cell phone!

A few months before I left Baghdad back in July, she was struggling to move on with her life side by side with her husband. She doesn’t have children. So we were like her own children. The day I was leaving, she came to see me driving all the way from her newspaper headquarters taking the risk of being killed. As I hugged her, I cried a lot not only because I am not going to see her again but because I know she would be in a huge danger in a place where no creature is safe at all. At that day, she was wearing a scarf. She said she had to put it on so that insurgents and militias don’t kill her. She was attractive enough to be kidnapped with her brown eyes settled on her beautiful white face which was covered with a long golden hair falling to her shoulders like a slide facing the ground.

A few days after I left, she and her husband left their house for good. Life is more precious to be wasted by those thugs, she told me once when I was in Jordan waiting for the visa interview. She locked her house and beautiful memories inside and left to live my other aunt and uncle whose families were also displaced form their neighborhoods. Now, the three families are living in a small two bedroom apartment in Karrada where at least one car bomb explodes every day.

When I asked her how she is doing, “still alive,” she replied. She told me that although she is forced to wear the scarf and that she became unable to drive her car often these days, she is still going to work every single day reporting and writing about life that is almost vanishing.

“If I don’t go to work and others don’t, who will?” she said leaving me in a greater respect for her. It’s amazing how hope still has a space in her heart.

Oh women of Iraq… Oh mothers of Iraq… My heart aches for you all… You are losing your freedom and yet you are still hopeful and productive.

*Painting by Laila al-Attar, an Iraqi artist murdered by a U.S. attack in 1993.

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